I tossed back a solid slug of scotch as soon as I hit my front door—OK, it was 8:30 in the morning, but what the hell, it was the end of my work day—and grabbed a quick snack of crackers and cheese, and then I hit the rack, hard.And, usually, long; I was ordinarily not up until 4:00 or so. But with the memory of last night I was awake at 12:30 and by 1:00 I gave up on sleeping and got my butt out of bed.I didn't take a newspaper; my weird hours didn't cater to it. So my usual routine was to run a cup of coffee, look at a little TV while I drank it, do the three esses—shit, shower and shave—and then log on to the national news on my laptop. Which I did. Some asshole killed himself along with his wife and three kids, some other asshole detonated a suicide bomb in the middle east and wasted himself along with a couple of civilians, a third asshole ... oh, hell, the same crap as usual. The weather was OK, early fall and nice for a change, politicians were passing their usual hot air,. Nothing good ever comes from that conversation.”“Actually, she was the one who brought it up.”Linda slapped her chest and jutted her neck back so quick, her hoops and curly afro bounced.“Yeah.” I nodded and ground my molars.“Jon, I am so sorry. That’s some backhanded, vile shit, though. How could she say that?”“Who knows? Planting seeds to end things, maybe?”My boss stepped from behind her desk and leaned back on the front of it. Her hips seemed broader as her bottom squished onto the edge.“Forgive me for saying this, but your girlfriend’s a jackass.”“Already forgiven.”“Also, if you don’t already know, ya dick ain’t small, chief.”I laughed – well cackled – for the first time since that demoralizing conversation earlier that day and asked, “And how would you know that?”“You’re always printing… quite boldly might I add.” She smiled and then dimmed her eyes until they were slits, and she released a chortle. “Let’s prove her wrong.”“What do you mean?”“She said you ain’t packing enough.
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